“But we’re never really alone Mikey, and even if you were, I’d be there for you.”

Yep, I could have said that, that’s what was in my heart, but instead I kept quiet. I zipped my lip as they would say. I just listened.

I mean, come on, he had just told me he was scared. Yes scared, as in, you know, frightened. His exact words were: “I’m scared I’m going to die alone.”

Yes, there across from me in that restaurant booth, was the man I love. My Mikey (ok, he’s not really mine, but still.) There sat Mike. Fabulous Mikey, just needing me to listen.

We were sharing a meal, (I love sharing a meal, it feels more intimate to me) but yes, a meal, and a bottle of Sancerre. Oh! We also drank Sancerre on our first date at The Bottle Inn. I had never had it before. Boy does it go down smooth.

Anyhow, I let him do most of the talking and I listened intently. Well, I tried to listen intently, but between drinking the Sancerre and his beautiful lips, I struggled to listen at times. Oh, those lips of his. Mom would say I looked like a “One eyed dog in a meat market.” Hey, I also looked into his brown eyes too. I did! I swear!

You know he’s emotionally bankrupt. Yep, his words not mine.That’s what he said on March 14th, 3 years ago, or was it 4? Yes, on my birthday over dinner. “Cori, I am emotionally bankrupt.” I had let him know it was okay, I could still see him.

Now on this night, yes, on October 12th 2024 he said “I got nothing to give.” “NOTHING.” Zip, Zilch, Nada. Okay, I added the Zip, zilch, nada part, but you get the picture.

He continued “I don’t know if I will ever be able to be vulnerable again.” Wait ,I thought, isn’t that very statement vulnerable? Of course I didn’t say anything.

You know what was music to my ears? When he said “I think of you often Cori.” Oh, I need to write that again ok? Mikey said “I think of you often Cori.” Just writing that and my heart skips a beat. He also said he feels guilty because he doesn’t have anything to give. Back to the Zip, zilch, nada part. Boo Hoo. : (

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to me. Get it? This is about me, not him. Guess what! I love him. So there.

That beautiful man, I love every inch of him. Yep! Every line on his face, those deceiving lips (here we go again) but those lips. Kinda like the baby back ribs we were sharing. Just when you think there’s no tender meat left, another delicious bite appears. Did I mention those deep eyes of his? They speak I swear. Oh and the way the outside corners go down a little. They kill me. Yep, I’m dead.

That sexy beard that hides the most scrumptious dimples.

What about the way he always wears a t-shirt, a crisp white one at that, under his shirt. By the way, my Dad did that too.

His hands that are so smooth. You know his hands haven’t aged. They look like they belong to a 20 year old. What about the multiple wrist bands on his wrist. A tribute to his friends he’s lost over the years. I don’t know, maybe that’s a baby boomers equivalent to the tattoos the younger generation gets in honor of their loved ones that have passed. He’s a loyal friend.

Oh, that smile! What about his chuckle? I’d know it in a crowd. For sure. It’s three small chucks in one chuckle. Love.

The walk? The cool cat walk, not in a rush, no sir ree bop. The Mikey strut I call it.

You know what I really love though?

The way he rests his hand on my thigh, and I feel everything is okay in the world. I won’t mention his hand on the small of my back, but my God…

Keep it clean Cori. ok.

I love his passion, his playful spirit, his fun, his enthusiasm, his intellect, his humility and yes, his moods.

I know that even though he feels beaten down, torn to shreds, he will rise again! What do they say again? Oh! “Yes, Michael will RISE LIKE THE PHOENIX.” No doubt in my mind.

Oh, a few more things…

Did I mention his huge heart? His tender heart, when not guarded, LOVES with everything

I can’t forget His Honesty and great Character.

He Loves His Girls. An amazing Father. Yes, Big, huge love for those girls.

Finally, did I mention his lips. Kidding! In all seriousness, I am grateful for Mikey and that I was able to thank him for helping to heal this heart of mine. Yes! My heart. This heart that just wants to love, that does love and is love.

Hey Eski, THANK YOU!

With Love,

Sweet Cori